i saw him,

i love my chair
i love sitting in my chair with no one around me
i love sitting here and watching the busy students scurry by below me
i love to sit here and wonder what their lives are like
who they are
what they like to do
maybe even wonder if someone that just walked past me is just like me
maybe someone just walked by that will one day be a good friend of mine
right now they are all strangers
right now, sitting in my chair, i just wonder.
i try to look for familiar faces, maybe even someone i know
i want to see if David, that one cute college guy will ever walk by.
i like feeling this feeling of serenity.
everything around me at peace.
i like trying to be silent.
i like to try and make no noise.
even in my salmon pink striped shirt, and high wasted pink floral skirt, i want to try and blend in.
it's funny sitting here,
i'm not even around the books i love, but i'm in my corner doing what i love.
i want to figure people out
i want to know what these people below me are thinking right now
how they grew up
who their best friend is
are they married
are they happy.
i want to know what they are interested in doing.
i could sit here and make judgement about them based on their simple or loud appearance
but right now i'll just sit here and watch them, and feel a part of them.
and love them
i'll feel like they do, just trying to get by simply with what i got.
i'll blend in in that way.
and that's totally cool.

the sky was drunk.

testing, 1, 2, 3.

i'll miss him too.

when i open myself up to people, the next thing i do is cut them off.

i really hate that about myself.

i did that with this friend.

he's a true gem.
a nice kid.
a great friend.

he did a lot for me and i wish i would've done more for him.
i guess we all have those kind of regrets in life, you know?

anyway, i'm deciding to change. 

now when i open up, i'll stay close.
really close.

i don't want another person thinking i hate them.

sorry red.

love and blessings,

my favorite colors.

Painting my nails. 
(it's an obsession)
i've gone a little out of control lately with painting my nails, 
these are my favorite ones. 

1.buy me cameo
2. going incognito
3. masquerade belle
4.chocolate cake
5. braziliant
8. solemate
9.foot loose
10. mint candy apple
11. shifting power
12. plumberry 


I came to win, 
to fight. 

To conquer, 
to thrive!

something that's been on my mind for a while:

i have serious commitment issues.

1. i start to like the boy
2. i start to really like the boy
3. i start to get super FREAKED out by the boy.
4. i move on.