moving right along eh?

cuddled? check.
dates? check.
kiss? pending request.

this only happens in the movies ladies

i saw a man. his perfection in beauty will not soon be forgotten by my heart, nor my mind.
as i describe him, you need to envision this beauty in your mind in the most flawless, perfect way imaginable.

lets begin.

about 6'3, long long torso.
skinny/slender/lean, but with broad shoulders and the most beautiful defined back muscles (again note the long torso).
white fitted cotton t-shirt, with dark wash slim jeans. zippers on the pockets (ya i looked)

oh, and his HAIR
you know that move men do that makes us ladies swoon?
you know, when they run their fingers thru their long wavy hair?
ya, he did that. and you better believe i swooned.

now imagine the most perfect golden blonde, with natural caramel highlights. with an underlying dark tone, and almost even a little greasy looking.
nothing short of perfection. am i right?

then, he turned and looked at me
i lost consciousness.
chiseled roman nose, bright gorgeous green eyes
dark brows
rugged beard.
holy hell.
is anyone else drooling?

here's the kicker tho, as he walked by he obviously saw i was falling in love with him,
and he so kindly shot me one of his sparkly white crooked smiles.
i must see him again.

if any of you see this man
before you pursue,
please keep in mind,
i saw him first.


saturday night

what if he's just too good to be true?

wishing to find my breaking point.

there are times in your life when you just feel like breaking
you feel like breaking would be the release to all the angst built up in you
like the emotions would somehow just race out of your chest and be gone forever.
usually when you feel like breaking away, you already feel completly broken.

mostly, yes, I'm mostly broken, but not yet completely.
mostly you start to feel like you're already broken when you've started to mend.
i need to start that mend.
i need to know i've broken all i can and i can finally start to heal
i don't want to sit here, with open wounds, knowing i haven't even had the worst of it
awaiting my nightmare
just crying over the horror i know will come.

but it wont come.
it's not coming!!
why must it be delayed!
i want it to all be over
and beautiful, once again.


first rule to happiness:
free your heart

thought of the day

Radiohead is neither music nor noise
it's ART

i love to see...

that look boys get when you know they're thinking
"i love you"

it has come to this.

all i need in life anymore is

1. netflix
2. puzzles
3. a plane ticket outta here

so there's this guy

and the way he smiles makes me smile.
and the sound of his voice makes my heart skip a beat.
and when i see him i get butterflies.


after all this time?

i still:

-fall every time i see him.
-blush at any mention of him.
-get butterflies thinking of him.
-see there's a meaning to all this.

and i still know i love him.

after love at first sight, and many years of heartbreak, and many years of patience.
he entered my life again, and what began was 

wonderful, perfect, unbelievable happiness.

hope, prayers

The Lord is always on our side, and always cheering us along
sometimes we are too angry or ignorant to see it
but He'll always be there and He, and everyone around us, always want us to come back to Him.
and if not for Him, then for the people around us it matters to.

hot cross buns.

i feel light, i feel happy. i feel hopeful.
i feel like my life is finally happening and it's EVERYTHING I've been waiting for.

i feel like there are a million words floating around in my head, but none of them are right.

i feel all the beauty around me getting more vibrant as
every second takes me closer. 
i fell like finally it's okay, and it really was all for a reason. i'm grateful.

i'm living now,
and taking life fully by the reins and heading in head first.
there's an interesting spirit about me now, that little girl inside me is growing up and becoming a real woman now. a real woman with a lot of spirit in her. now i'm always smiling at new and beautiful opportunities that become the music around me.

i want to run around and tell the whole world.
i want to kiss him on the mouth and have him be forever mine.

my future with him is finally more bright than my past.
he's so real 
and even more wonderfully perfect than i ever thought. he's got this smile that makes me feel innocent and young again. and i blush every time.
he reminds me of better days, of days i forgot i missed.

oh boy...
8 years of wishful thinking, and now it's come to this

bless you,
cami :)


i saw him,

i love my chair
i love sitting in my chair with no one around me
i love sitting here and watching the busy students scurry by below me
i love to sit here and wonder what their lives are like
who they are
what they like to do
maybe even wonder if someone that just walked past me is just like me
maybe someone just walked by that will one day be a good friend of mine
right now they are all strangers
right now, sitting in my chair, i just wonder.
i try to look for familiar faces, maybe even someone i know
i want to see if David, that one cute college guy will ever walk by.
i like feeling this feeling of serenity.
everything around me at peace.
i like trying to be silent.
i like to try and make no noise.
even in my salmon pink striped shirt, and high wasted pink floral skirt, i want to try and blend in.
it's funny sitting here,
i'm not even around the books i love, but i'm in my corner doing what i love.
i want to figure people out
i want to know what these people below me are thinking right now
how they grew up
who their best friend is
are they married
are they happy.
i want to know what they are interested in doing.
i could sit here and make judgement about them based on their simple or loud appearance
but right now i'll just sit here and watch them, and feel a part of them.
and love them
i'll feel like they do, just trying to get by simply with what i got.
i'll blend in in that way.
and that's totally cool.

the sky was drunk.

testing, 1, 2, 3.

i'll miss him too.

when i open myself up to people, the next thing i do is cut them off.

i really hate that about myself.

i did that with this friend.

he's a true gem.
a nice kid.
a great friend.

he did a lot for me and i wish i would've done more for him.
i guess we all have those kind of regrets in life, you know?

anyway, i'm deciding to change. 

now when i open up, i'll stay close.
really close.

i don't want another person thinking i hate them.

sorry red.

love and blessings,

my favorite colors.

Painting my nails. 
(it's an obsession)
i've gone a little out of control lately with painting my nails, 
these are my favorite ones. 
bless. me cameo
2. going incognito
3. masquerade belle
4.chocolate cake
5. braziliant
8. solemate
9.foot loose
10. mint candy apple
11. shifting power
12. plumberry 


I came to win, 
to fight. 

To conquer, 
to thrive!

something that's been on my mind for a while:

i have serious commitment issues.

1. i start to like the boy
2. i start to really like the boy
3. i start to get super FREAKED out by the boy.
4. i move on.


Let me take you back, back to the 90's, kids.

The 90's are prime, and i intend to bring them back FULL FORCE

remember watching:

-Pinky and the Brain
-Power Rangers
-Rocket Power
-Hey Arnold!
-Are you afraid of the Dark?
-All That
-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
-The Amanda Show
-Home Improvement
-Sabrina the Teenage Witch
-The Addams Family
-Jett Jackson
-Touched by an Angel
-Sherlock Homes in the 22nd Century
-Honey i Shrunk the Kids
-Kenan and Kel!

freaking awesome.

here are some more friendly reminders of the good times:

Boys with beached tipped hair, spiked

Waking up early on Saturday's to watch AWESOME cartoons (now they're all on Boomerang!)

remember reading “Goosebumps”? :)

saying “NOT” after every sentence

When everything was settled by:
1) rock paper scissors or
2) bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or

Kickball everyday at recess


Recording your favorite songs on the radio onto a tape (A*teens anyone?)

The Original Game Boy.

You always wanted to send in a video to America’s Funniest Home Videos . . . but never actually could tape anything funny.

Yo-Yos were cool.

Finding Waldo

Eating Warheads and Baby Bottle Pops

every thing was “da BOMB!”

Bowl Cuts :)

boom boxes and Walkman's

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and predicting your life with them.

. . . . . . .trolls

Windows 95 (hahaha)

Lisa Frank brand notebooks, pencils, everything

Collecting Beanie Babies.

Lambchop’s song NEVER ending.

owning a 50 cent piece was cool!

the Macarena.

“Talk to the hand”

McDonald’s had THE best playplace.

light up sneakers...still cool

gas was $0.95 a gallon.


lets bring them back guys.
for real-sies
long live the 90's!


subject matter.

QUOTE: "favorite past times: snowboarding, knitting, caring, being there for that one girl."

is he a keeper?



thought of the day

we think holding on is what makes us strong, but sometimes it's letting go.

bless :)


i discovered that i had found the best friend i've been searching, and praying for my whole life.
we'll be best friends forever. we promised.


i love my best friend.

please have a lovely day,

cami :)

song of my life.

Well how's your view of things today?
Got up young to fade away
The sinners sin but aren't aware
Our fables take us everywhere
I can't keep up with you
I can't keep up

I can't compete with history
We'll film it live but dub our tale
The mystery must stay inside
Look at our homes, look at our lives
In control of the morning
In control of the sea

You are creating all the bubbles at night
I'm chasing round trying to pop them all the time
We don't need to trust a single word they say
You are creating all the bubbles at play

There's a girl, there's a girl, there's a girl, there's a girl
And she's down by the river
In her own creepy world there's a girl, there's a girl
And she's down by the river
It's time to consider
That maybe he's a sinner

She'll wash away your sins (Wash away your sins)
She'll wash away your sins (Wash away your sins)
She'll wash away your sins and go home

I only once upset my kin
Accused him of a moral slip
He came back and claimed the change
I know his life's the same again
I can't ask him again
I should let it go

You are creating all the bubbles at night
I'm chasing round trying to pop them all the time
We don't need to trust a single word they say
You are creating all the bubbles at play

There's a girl, there's a girl, there's a girl, there's a girl
And she's down by the river
In her own creepy world there's a girl, there's a girl
And she's down by the river
It's time to consider
That maybe he's a sinner

There's a girl, there's a girl, there's a girl, there's a girl
(Wash away your sins, wash away your sins)
She's face down in the river

My events at work

to set the stage for you:
TIM: my boss (he's very into himself, models, about 46ish?)
BRENT: fellow employee (single, into video games and comic books, about 42ish?)
GAVIN: the new guy

brent: "hello tim"
tim: who's the most attractive?
brent: tim is so beautiful!

(gavin walks up to me)
gavin: what is going on? are they gay?
me: no, you'll get used to it.

just thought i'd share this funny moment.
i love my job :)


my heart, swollen with deeply hidden emotion.

okay guys, here's the deal.
i'm freaking out inside.
subject 2 just got back from his mission
(more handsome and charming than ever.)
of course.

an update on subject 3,
(since you're all probably wondering)
he's long gone. sadly.
it was a really good ending tho.
i feel bad things needed to end,
but he has more important things in his life
and right now i shouldn't be what he's focusing on.
yet, we've decided to remain close friends :)
i'm proud of our decision.

now back to subject 2.
when he got back i thought
this is a big deal.

guys, he's super super way good looking.
-he's, my down fall in life.
at one point in my life i'd love it if he just
yet the other side of me says
"but what if...?"

a certain friend and her fiance
aren't helping.
they're encouraging, while everyone discourages me.
it's leaving me rather confused.

also, i hung out with a certain friend, fiance, and subject 2,
it was a time of 93,872 thoughts running
wildly though my head.
the most prominent one being

guys, i need to get this stupid boy issue
worked out once and for all.
well, wish me luck on figuring out this messy situation.
love you so much.
5 days til gradutation.
i'm freaking, freaking out.
where did the last 3 years of my life go?
i'd like to know.
woo so excited for college :)

cami :)

thought for the day.

i found this picture and had to share it with you all.
those lovers have such class.
you can't help but smile; they're so in love


get my head on straight. now.

i need to stop doing this ^^^^

but i'm scared i guess.

the secret of happiness is...

The Lord and his gospel.
this morning was amazing. i woke up bright and early one morning to go the temple with two of my greatest best friends. His love was so strong in there i wanted to cry. we went with a friend in mind, we were fasting for her, and even had her name put on the prayer list. later that day, in seminary, a cute boy got up and shared his testimony of fasting. earlier in the week he had told me that was one thing he had no testimony of. as he shared his new found testimony of fasting, in that moment i could feel myself gaining my own testimony of the power of fasting and i started to cry. i was so grateful for that boy and his testimony. and i'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father giving me that experience while i was having a fast of my own. i love Him.
bless you


i've been trying to figure out my style.
not like fashion style, but what is it about something that draws me to it.
what is my style in life?
i've wondered what it is about a certain peice of art that draws me to it
or a song, why i could listen to it over and over for days and still love it
or have you even seen someone from a distance and admired them. what was admirable in your eyes without knowing them?

for me: i love honest.

when i see art full of honesty; i see the artists soul. i see every-bit of who that person is, and what they feel. i see exactly what they want me to see.
i love when i see art that is bursting with emotion
honest emotion.
you can tell the artist poured their whole heart and entire soul into the image as a whole

when i hear a song full of honesty; i see the musicians soul, i see what has hurt them or blessed them. i love to hear a song that is an honest emotional.
i love the lyrics people write when they've realized something life changing.
they pour out their heart to you in music.
i love how you could listen to that song for days on-end and always feel that honesty.

i love when you can see someone who is just simply themselves
they don't need to follow trends, friends, or patterns to prove themselves.
you can just tell everything they do, they do because it's them.
there is something different that stands out about them.
those people are easier for me to trust.
when i know i can trust someone, i feel the relationship just got a whole lot more beautiful.

i think life is about the simple things. things you can do that show you really care about something.
to expose yourself in an honest way is risky, it makes you feel vulnerable.
but only at first.
i think if we did it more often, we would be happier.
it's healthy to pour your heart out into something or someone. :)

honest emotion is beautiful.
honest expression is beautiful.
honesty is the most beautiful attribute you could wish to have labeled on you.
at least to me it is

i love you guys :)

let me just get this off my chest.

i'm starting to lose people.
some good friends i thought i'd have.

i'm starting to get impatient
after a full year and a half of this.

i'm starting to snap
from dealing with inconsiderate-ness

but i'm turning to God.
the Lord is always on my side
He's always a best friend

i love Him :)

bless. cami

Don't let the sadness from the past, or the fear of the future rob the happiness of the present.

             subject 1: sadness; he left on his mission mad at me. we were in love for 2 years and now we don't talk, and now we aren't even friends. it's a relief to me he's gone and i don't have to deal with it, but 2 years goes fast. i guess it's whatever. but it's still so sad to me.

             subject 2: fear; liked him since i was 11, except he was never very nice to me. he found it funny to make me sad. he is the reason subject 1 left mad at me. he comes home from his mission in 3 weeks, and he's expecting to date me. i can't give in. i'm extra nervous and really scared.

             subject 3: happiness; always makes me smile and laugh. we always talk for hours and hours and never even notice the time pass. he's super nice, and super great. i like him, and hope subject 2 doesn't ruin this one also. i won't give up. he makes me so happy.

1,2,3. all phasing me right now.



dreams come true

1. doesn't want to know me
2. ruins everything.
3. is a keeper

third time's a charm (keep your fingers crossed)

cami :)


learn something incredible

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known"

i found some interesting facts i thought i would share with you :) enjoy

-Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex
-Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right or left handed (paw).
-Fortune cookies were actually invented in America (not China), in 1918, by Charles Jung
-A snail can sleep for three years
-The people in Bali only have one of four names: Wayan, Made, Nyoman, and Ketut
-Your thumb is the same length as your nose
-Horses can't vomit and pigs can't look up in the sky
-Adding a drop of olive oil and lemon juice to an ice cube then running it over your face gives you better results than some expensive skin care products.
-Not only the fur of the tiger is striped but also its skin
-Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise
-Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
-SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below
-The Pope's been known to wear red Prada shoes.
-Coco Chanel started the trend for sun tans in 1923 when she got accidentally burnt on a cruise.
-The egg came first.
-The Himalayas cover one-tenth of the Earth's surface.
-The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows which makes her emotion hard to determine.
-Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
-Its impossible to smoke oneself to death with weed. You won't be able to retain enough motor control and consciousness to do so after such a large amount.
-Every drop of seawater contains approximately 1 billion gold atoms.
-Just about 3 people are born every second
-Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
-The largest living thing on the face of the Earth is a mushroom underground in Oregon, it measures three and a half miles in diameter.
-Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A.
-The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. :) (phineas and ferb...)
-Nondairy creamer is flammable.
-If you can see a rainbow you must have your back to the sun.
-America once issued a 5-cent bill.
-It is possible for any American citizen to give whatever name he or she chooses to any unnamed mountain or hill in the United States.
-King Henry III of France, Louis XVI of France and Napoleon all suffered from ailurophobia--fear of cats.
-The ampersand (&) was the last letter of the Latin alphabet
-Men can read smaller print than women
-The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. 'UP' indicated the direction of the bubbles
-Percentage of Africa that is wilderness--28%. Percentage of North America that is wilderness--38%.
-Because radio waves travel at 186,000 miles per second and sound waves saunter at 700 miles per hour, a broadcast voice can be heard sooner 13,000 miles away than it can be heard at the back of the room in which it originated
-Average number of days a German goes without washing his underwear: 7.
-Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
-A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
-Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades--King David, Clubs--Alexander the Great, Hearts--Charlemagne and Diamonds--Julius Caesar.
-There are only four words in the English language which end in '-dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
-More than 2500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products
-The X's that people sometimes put at the end of letters or notes to mean a kiss, actually started back in the 1000's when Lords would sign their names at the end of documents to other important people. It was originally a cross that they would kiss after signing to signify that they were faithful to God and their King. Over the years though, it slanted into the X.
-In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger. also 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
-A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
-Polar bears are left-handed.
-Guinness Book Of Records holds the record for being the book most stolen from Public Libraries.
-Charlie Chaplin won third place in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest

have a great day :)

my countdown.

Favorite Places To Be:
- snuggled in bed
- driving around in my car
- an art museum
- in a history classroom (atwood)
- seminary
- the TEMPLE
- at a friends house
- a sales rack
- the canyon
- Stewart falls.
‘Weird’ Things About You:
- my teeth are too big for my mouth.
- my dad and my grandpa were bodybuilders; thus i inherited their muscles :)
- i loath elbows.
- i played against the Super Smash Bros. world champion for a whole evening.
- my eyebrows sometimes decide to bald? i have never understood it.
- i love to deep clean things; but usually only at other peoples homes
- i recently picked up knitting as a hobby.
- i am the only girl in my family
- i once had a cyst in my wrist

New Year Resolutions:
- read scriptures daily (check)
- make some good friends (check)
- go to the temple weekly (check)
- write in my journal regularly (check)
- find a hobby (check)
- get asked out on a date (check)
- bear my testimony (check)
- enjoy foot massages (check)

Things I’m Thinking Of:
- what to write.
- babysitting today
- him :)
- i need to do my scripture study
- i'm sick of this cold i have
- it's cold in my room
- my new best friend

Things You’re Wearing Right Now: 
- white velvet jacket
- black stretchy pants
- my plastic shirt
- a french braid

Things I’m Worried about:
- missing school today
- tanna
- finding a new job
- my synthesis essay for english
-  if i have a sinus infection or not?

Things On My Floor Right Now:
- my favorite beanie
- my new cool purse
- my longboard
- my whole closet

Things I Want To Do Today:
- hang out with my favorite new friends.
- maybe take another shower?
- paint my nails

Things I’ll Reveal: 
- i'm the happiest i've been in all my life.
- i'm the most scared i've been in all my life.

Secret i'll share.
-my younger brother has kissed more people than i have.

it makes me sick...

i'm really bugged today. 
this is why:
i try really hard to make myself someone who people are willing to talk to.
i try really hard to show people i don't judge. 
i try really hard to show people i love them no matter what is going on in their lives.

but one thing that really bugs me is when a friendship has reached 
a certain point, and they still feel like they have to keep things from me because quote 
"i'm mormon and i will judge them." 
it makes me sick.
i can't tell you how often it happens tho!
it honestly breaks my heart when some one feels they can't trust me.
i have that feeling right now, 
and yesterday. 
anyway i just wanted to get that out. 
it guess it makes me feel better to write...? :)