the finds of cami.: March 2011

get my head on straight. now.

i need to stop doing this ^^^^

but i'm scared i guess.
bless
cami

this morning was amazing. i woke up bright and early one morning to go the temple with two of my greatest best friends. His love was so strong in there i wanted to cry. we went with a friend in mind, we were fasting for her, and even had her name put on the prayer list. later that day, in seminary, a cute boy got up and shared his testimony of fasting. earlier in the week he had told me that was one thing he had no testimony of. as he shared his new found testimony of fasting, in that moment i could feel myself gaining my own testimony of the power of fasting and i started to cry. i was so grateful for that boy and his testimony. and i'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father giving me that experience while i was having a fast of my own. i love Him.

bless you

cami.

honesty.

i've been trying to figure out my style.
not like fashion style, but what is it about something that draws me to it.
what is my style in life?
i've wondered what it is about a certain peice of art that draws me to it
or a song, why i could listen to it over and over for days and still love it
or have you even seen someone from a distance and admired them. what was admirable in your eyes without knowing them?

for me: i love honest.

when i see art full of honesty; i see the artists soul. i see every-bit of who that person is, and what they feel. i see exactly what they want me to see.
i love when i see art that is bursting with emotion
honest emotion.
you can tell the artist poured their whole heart and entire soul into the image as a whole

when i hear a song full of honesty; i see the musicians soul, i see what has hurt them or blessed them. i love to hear a song that is an honest emotional.
i love the lyrics people write when they've realized something life changing.
they pour out their heart to you in music.
i love how you could listen to that song for days on-end and always feel that honesty.

i love when you can see someone who is just simply themselves
they don't need to follow trends, friends, or patterns to prove themselves.
you can just tell everything they do, they do because it's them.
there is something different that stands out about them.
those people are easier for me to trust.
when i know i can trust someone, i feel the relationship just got a whole lot more beautiful.

i think life is about the simple things. things you can do that show you really care about something.
to expose yourself in an honest way is risky, it makes you feel vulnerable.
but only at first.
i think if we did it more often, we would be happier.
it's healthy to pour your heart out into something or someone. :)

honest emotion is beautiful.
honest expression is beautiful.
honesty is the most beautiful attribute you could wish to have labeled on you.
at least to me it is

i love you guys :)
bless
cami.

let me just get this off my chest.

i'm starting to lose people.

some good friends i thought i'd have.

i'm starting to get impatient

after a full year and a half of this.

i'm starting to snap

from dealing with inconsiderate-ness

but i'm turning to God.

the Lord is always on my side

He's always a best friend

i love Him :)

bless. cami

Don't let the sadness from the past, or the fear of the future rob the happiness of the present.

             subject 1: sadness; he left on his mission mad at me. we were in love for 2 years and now we don't talk, and now we aren't even friends. it's a relief to me he's gone and i don't have to deal with it, but 2 years goes fast. i guess it's whatever. but it's still so sad to me.

             subject 2: fear; liked him since i was 11, except he was never very nice to me. he found it funny to make me sad. he is the reason subject 1 left mad at me. he comes home from his mission in 3 weeks, and he's expecting to date me. i can't give in. i'm extra nervous and really scared.

             subject 3: happiness; always makes me smile and laugh. we always talk for hours and hours and never even notice the time pass. he's super nice, and super great. i like him, and hope subject 2 doesn't ruin this one also. i won't give up. he makes me so happy.

1,2,3. all phasing me right now.

nightmares,

nightmares,

dreams come true

1. doesn't want to know me
2. ruins everything.
3. is a keeper

third time's a charm (keep your fingers crossed)
bless.

cami :)